The Ultimate goal!

Accepting yourself as you are is a huge thing. A great accomplishment if you have done so already!

Internally and externally you shall be as you make yourself. You cannot be what you are not. Hence, you need to understand yourself, your innate potentials and then seek the peace of mind by using them to your advantage. you will have flaws but don't imprison yourself with those. At the same time stop self-pity.

It is not possible for any person to be perfect. Perfection has always been a myth. It shall always be one. How can one be blameless or faultless in today's mean world.? I have seen people hide their flaws as they think they might not be accepted in. People feel guilty about their competencies. That's sad but also a fact. Such a hypocrite society we live in!

All negativity is acquired. It is not natural. But this also does not mean you will take undue advantage of those missing parts in your life. It is unfortunate for you to have lost your parent or child or a loved one, but you can not use that thing to live your life. You cannot always remind people about your loss only so that you can get away with your duties and responsibilities.

Life must go on.

Don't always justify your flaws or mistakes. You must learn to get over them and not get embroiled in them. Every man's soul is pure as the music coming from Lord Krishna's flute. Your Karma must have blurred it just like dust blurring an image on the mirror. You must get rid of that dust to realize your actual self.

This is what our saints have been calling "self-realization". Life is all about peaks and valleys. Ups and downs. When a person goes through life...the struggles and the achievements, he/she acquires certain moral values and habits. We tend to develop jealousy, sorrow, sense of revenge and envy. These qualities are an adjunct for the smooth flowing of life. These negative traits should go.

Without getting rid of these bad and unnecessary qualities, one cannot find inner peace. He/she is constantly thinking of ways to put others down. they begin to say vicious things about you even if they are untrue. I pity such people and mind you, they are present in and around you. I experience these people almost every day. Some people are ones you have just met. 

I believe that all of us need to find our salvation. No 2 persons lives are the same. All our lives are unique. And yet the "light of life" is the same for everyone. The path is different and difficult yet the goal must remain the same. Our success in attaining peace relies on the right path we choose for our-self for that Universal light!

Chapter 1. My existence.

So finally, I will join the 30s club this year. Boy! what a ride it has been.

On the many bumps I went through in my life, I came out injured, broken, disappointed and also sensible, matured and real at the same time. It is not easy to come out beautiful from all that breaks you. Many social media influencers out there speak about their battle with depression and abuse. They tell you what all they went through and how they came out strong. 

The fact is that one can never come out of all those horrific experiences. Their memories fade but the scars which they leave behind are forever.

So, when I decided to write a book I thought to pen down many stories, some from my life and a few from others'. There is a reason it is called "non-fiction". 

I am good at quite a few things. Being real and genuine are two things to mention. I love meeting new people and getting to know how deep a few people fall from their conscience to bring others down. They flatter you and then say vicious things about you behind your back. Some of us call it back-biting. 

I have always been a "big" girl. During my childhood days, I showed maturity like that of a teenager. I was brought up that way. My life as a student was filled with a few financial constraints. So I failed to enjoy a few "luxuries" of being a child.

My college days were like that of a carefree teenager nearing her twenties. I met some really good people and they have managed to stay on until today. 

I got unemployed as soon as I had got employed. I did menial jobs to keep myself busy. I was slipping into depression very soon. I was hardly 21. That's when life hit me hard. Everyone in my world started to doubt my potential and ability. It was killing me from inside out. I started to think about the mental abuse I had gone through in my very first job. The screams and laughs and the eyes rolling on me began haunting me. It kills a person's subconscious mind. And in the hypocrite society which we live in did not allow me to seek professional help for my mental peace. 

There was hardly anyone with whom I could discuss what I was going through. This is tough. We all go through certain bad times which affect our peace of mind and thought-process. The worst part is that many people do not understand the concept of anxiety and depression.

I will be judged left, right and centre after this write-up is published. But I am not sick or ill or insane or mad. I am stable and healthy. What I am trying to say is that we should stop stereotyping mental conditions. 

I got married at the age of 24. I became a mother at the age of 27. I am 29. Nearing 30. I still do not have a full-time job. I don't own a car. I am over-weight. People still judge me, misunderstand me and probably even hate me.

These 29 some years have not been a bed of roses. We all have tough times in our life. We meet naive people who unfriend you on a social media platform because you commented on their photo which they thought was wrong. You meet some nerds who are so nice to you and once you turn your back to them, they turn out to be poisonous snakes who spread venom. 

One thing I have learnt is that you need to fight your own battles. Giving up is easy. Not giving up is so difficult. It is so tough to keep a straight face when the person you loved so deeply, marries someone else. It is so difficult to remain at peace when you give up your career and job for your loved ones and still you face criticism. 

It is damn difficult. But at the end of the day, you matter the most. You to yourself. You will gain nothing if you react to some insecure idiot spreading false rumours about you and your character. You will only lose. Lose your peace of mind, your self-respect and most importantly yourself.

For me, it has not been easy. Not even today. And I think it is ok. It is ok to cry yourself to sleep because your man misunderstood you today. It is ok to be fat. It is ok to be a bad cook. It is ok if you could not make someone smile today. It is fine. Don't push yourself so hard. 

Believe that what is happening is for a reason. For He knows all. 

Look in the mirror and smile. Say, you did well. You deserve that love and affection from yourself. 

Life goes on. So there is something good however small waiting for you.